Is self-care selfish?

“One day Jesus told a story in the form of a parable to a large crowd that had gathered from many towns to hear him: “A farmer went out to plant his seed. As he scattered it across his field, some seed fell on a footpath, where it was stepped on, and the birds ate it. Other seed fell among rocks. It began to grow, but the plant soon wilted and died for lack of moisture. Other seed fell among thorns that grew up with it and choked out the tender plants. Still other seed fell on fertile soil. This seed grew and produced a crop that was a hundred times as much as had been planted!” When he had said this, he called out, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”   Luke 8:4-8 NLT

I had a thought provoking conversation last week about soil. Believe it or not, it was incredibly interesting. I was chatting with two women who have far more experience in all things gardening than yours truly, and the more I listened the more my wheels turned on what makes good soil. Everything from adding nitrogen, to fertilizer, to bones (yes, bones!) was discussed nothing was left off the table. Did you know you can have your soil tested? It’s true!  You can do a little lab-sleuthing and based on your results whatever is lacking can be added through supplementation. Whether it’s fruit, vegetables, flowers or plants, you can prepare the ground for growth through the health of your soil so that what you plant flourishes. 

Later on, I couldn’t stop thinking about the parallels between soil, our spiritual lives/ hearts and even taking care of ourselves.  Things like time in the word, in God’s presence, in community, in prayer don’t stop challenges from coming into our lives, but equip us to face what lays ahead if the soil has been made ready. While there is no perfect soil, we can do our best work, preparation and even research to foster growth. Truth is, this seems to be acceptable “soil preparation” for most Christians. But I don’t think it stops there. 

I’ve heard a lot of conversation over the years about self-care, and many people pointing to it as selfish. While I’m not an advocate of making it “all about me” (there’s nothing egotistical about the Gospel) I am encouraging us to think through what it means to take care of our soil and what produces lasting fruit. To be honest, I think that extends beyond only focusing on spiritual disciplines. Self-care can be taking time for your introverted self to be alone. Self-care can be unwinding over a good cup of coffee with someone you really care about. Self-care can be getting a good night of sleep because God cares about your body and that you’re rested enough to enjoy him in the day he has given you. That’s not selfish, that’s tending the soil. That’s preparing the ground. That’s giving you what you need to be ready to do what God has for you.

Taking care of our soil, means taking care of our lives. In taking care, we steward what we have been given rather than letting what we have been given run wild, become overgrown or grow out of control. 

I love how the parable continues on in Luke 8:12-15

“The seeds that fell on the footpath represent those who hear the message, only to have the devil come and take it away from their hearts and prevent them from believing and being saved. The seeds on the rocky soil represent those who hear the message and receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation. The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity. And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest.”

I think a huge part of self-care is really just responsible ownership of our lives. There is a difference between wise maintenance and self-centered obsession, isn’t there? Take a moment to reflect: Do your thoughts all revolve around you? Or, are you looking for ways to help, serve and love others? Is Jesus at the center of what you are doing, or is he an afterthought?  What needs maintenance, pruning, or weeding? Bring these questions to Jesus and ask him to sift the soil. Trust the Master Gardner, and be diligent to do what he says. 

Finally, please remember to take care of yourself. In a season where so many are making resolutions, ask the Lord what needs to change in your life. Whether it is drinking more water, getting more sleep, praying for others, less screen time & more time with Jesus….. trust God to lead, guide, and help you steward the soil in your life. 

So much love, 

Joy