“Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17
I was a mess. A simple issue with a few family members was tearing me inside out, and flipping me upside down. It wasn’t even end of the world stuff, I was just at a dead end wishing up a storm that I could come to a decision about what to do. The stress of the situation was like a low-grade drip siphoning off all of my emotional reserve, causing me to consistently feel depleted every time the issue was broached. I kept hoping the issue would just go away, or resolve itself. I couldn’t get the tension to ease, and the push back was causing me to feel like I would break before the resolution materialized. I ended up at a local coffee shop with a friend who I knew had gone through something similar and finally let the pressure valve off, so the tears could flow. She knew exactly how I was feeling and gave me the perfect, sage-filled advice.
I felt seen.
I felt heard.
And her wisdom gave me the answer I needed.
When I got in my car afterwards, I felt like the had the clarity that I had been searching weeks for, and it seemed to materialize like a miracle. Wishes didn’t take me far, but community sure did. Who knew the answer to my long-awaited question was on the other side of a simple conversation?
There is so much perspective that shifts when we are in the company of people wiser than us, outside of our perspective or further along than us. The “wishes” that came up afterwards were plentiful. I wished I had saved myself the time and talked to a friend sooner. I wished I had saved my heart the stress and sought out advice when I knew I needed it. And perhaps most of all, I wished I hadn’t held my own feeble strength so closely that I let it burden me unnecessarily. Instead, I wished I had just gone straight to the arms of Jesus and trusted him to speak through his people.
Why do we think we can handle life better on our own?
Spoiler alter: we can’t.
The answer may be as simple as the people God has placed us with as we walk in faith, through this life. No one is guaranteed all of the answers, but maybe that’s not the point. The gift of community shows us that we’re simply called to shoulder the burdens of others, and provide encouragement, prayer support and hope/help to others around us.
As we consider the highlighted verse from Proverbs 27:17 I couldn’t help but think about the double edged sword that community often is. Being “sharpened” isn’t a painless process. Whether the pain is the process or a person….the purpose is that we are all instruments in the hands of the Master and the point is to be conformed to the image of Jesus. That isn’t going to come without some serious refining for us imperfect people. At the same time, we don’t want to loose heart as we are being sharpened. Which is another invaluable facet of community- it holds the power to encourage. Regardless of either side of the issue, being worked on isn’t easy but it is invaluable if we want to be utilized in the Kingdom of God…..which, ironically, is a huge community of people.
Side bar: I want to address the elephant in the room that is very real when we cultivate community- sometimes other people hurt us, and sometimes we hurt others. That doesn’t give everyone a free pass to a hermit-like lifestyle. While I am not advocating you throw yourself into toxic relationships for the sake of “becoming sharpened” I want to encourage you with a few things. Sometimes difficult people are brought into our lives by our faithful Jesus to refine us, but that doesn’t mean they get to move in (physically or mentally). I would encourage you to ask Jesus to do all he wants to do, when you are dealing with people who “refine us more than others” while using wise boundaries and appropriate communication. But I also don’t want you to think because someone is a “strong sharpener” that they simply need to be dismissed. Jesus has used both types of people in my life, and sometimes it ended up that even though they were more difficult to be with or around, I was the one who needed more sharpening. I’ve also been in situations where, wise council (and professional counselors) ensured me when their purpose had been served and I could move on. Whatever the case, take the person before Jesus and allow him to work in you. Do your best to keep your heart free from offense, full of forgiveness and use wisdom in your interactions with others.
Community has the power to change lives, but that only happens when we open ourselves up to it and allow Jesus to use us in the lives of others and use others in our life. People who will encourage you, challenge you, and pick you up from when you have fallen……and people will also frustrate you, disappoint you, and break your heart. My encouragement for all of us is that we yield to Jesus trusting our perfect Savior to keep working in an imperfect people (which is ALL of us) to make us more like him, and better together.
Much love,
Joy