why it’s OK to say no

“Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Matthew 5:37a NLT

I recently had to tell someone no. It wasn’t a little ask, it wasn’t exactly the biggest one either- but somewhere on the in-between spectrum of “no’s” well, that’s where I found myself. My heart really wanted to do something to compromise…y’know the typical must keep everyone happy mentality, but the truth is, that’s not my job. The thing is, I knew what I said when I said it because I had weighed both options carefully. I knew what a ‘yes’ in this situation would mean to me- it would cause a lot of heartache, stress and I think would eventually end up as a no. I also knew what a no would mean. When everything was said & done the best thing was actually to say no. 

So I said no, and shockingly, I liked it. 

While a huge part of me dreaded the final pull of the trigger, the greater part of me was relieved. A part of me was afraid I had broken my friend (I mean, a face can only fall so far, so fast) and still a huge part of me knew that whatever I could do to help without giving my yes, was still the best answer. 

I want to submit to you the idea that it’s possible to say no, walk away, and live. 

If you struggle (like me) with people pleasing, you probably think I’m crazy. 

But at the end of the day, I’m seeing way too many believers who’ve become “yes men, and yes women” than I am people who are walking in conviction about what they have given their yes or no to. 

Isn’t this often where we find ourselves? We can’t hold the world together with our yes, anymore than the world falls apart with our no. If I take it a step further, and really give in to that line of thinking, I’m thinking a little too highly of myself. The truth is, I’m not the Savior anymore than the myth of Atlas thinking he could hold the weight of the world upon his shoulders. In the end what is needed is an answer drenched in prayer and in the fear of the Lord. If He gives you a yes, let your yes be yes…..and if he gives you a no, then let that be enough. 

No one holds the world in place other than the Father, and last I checked he doesn’t need our help to get the job done. Even if your ‘no’ causes something to fracture, you can still trust Jesus to put it back together. You do not have to be afraid how things will turn out. You can trust God and you can trust his infinitely capable hands, heart and purpose. We simply aren’t that powerful.

Instead, let’s lean a little more into the power our yes and no actually hold. 

Where we give our yes and no matters.

Where we give our yes and no to is an investment of our time and of ourselves.

Where we give our yes and no to is where we spend our lives. 

That is why we need to not only be full of caution, but full of conviction with where were spend our yes and our no. Friends, CLEARLY, I do not have this all figured out. But I really do want to encourage us with this simple truth from Scripture that our yes and no can speak for themselves. In the end, our yes to Jesus is far more important to that our answer to anything and everything else.

Pray about it, and trust God with everything else.

So much love,

Joy