Broken Pieces: Dealing with Disappointment

“I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me were thieves and robbers. But the true sheep did not listen to them.Yes, I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved.They will come and go freely and will find good pastures. The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”   

John 10:7b-10 NLT

I will never forget celebrating one of our first milestones when I was dating my husband. We had only been together for a few months, I knew he was a romantic at heart, and I couldn’t wait to see what he had gotten me. He was so good at spoiling me, doting on me, and thinking of me, I was certain whatever gift I received was going to make me feel loved, seen and cherished. As I presented my thoughtful gift for him, and he for me, my heart rate pitter-patted with an uptick of anticipation. What was my present?!? 

I had gifted him a beautiful breakfast, with a scenic, unforgettable view and had prepared a heartfelt note to let him know how much I cherished him. His gift for me? It was a thermos. Literally. A thermos. He had remembered that I had remarked that I liked it when we passed a local cafe, so he had gone back and gotten it for me. He made sure I knew, it had a pop top. (Apparently that’s cool.) It didn’t help. Feeling very much deflated as I opened the gift, I let him know. Did he even know me at all? I couldn’t believe for our first milestone- he gave me something that was so unromantic. I didn’t care what his intention was, I let my disappointment filter everything about the gift, the giver and the intention. Disappointment was at an all time high, and my feelings in light of it, were at an all time low.

Have you ever felt that way? Like you were anticipating a beautiful surprise, and in its wake, you were washed over with disappointment.

What do you do when you are disappointed? 

Because I guarantee we’ve all faced it.  

A dream goes unfulfilled. 

A promise is broken. 

A miracle didn’t materialize. 

You can fill in the blank….but I know we’ve all been there. 

When we bring it back to the above promise, there’s some things to work through to get to abundant life. We can’t ignore it, will live through it, and we can go to Jesus with it. 

We can’t ignore it. Whether it’s a thermos on a very important day. A dream falling apart, never coming together…..or shattered hopes when we prayed fervently for said hope to come into fruition disappointment is hard. Ignoring what we’ve experienced, will do nothing for our walk with Jesus. We have to acknowledge it, and bring it to him. Yes, it is going to hurt. Yes, it’s not fun. Yes, disappointment is well, disappointing. But ignoring it, only prolongs the inevitable: disappointment festers. Acknowledging it helps us to see it looses its power and brings our focus back to the all-powerful one.

We will live through it. I don’t say this lightly or flippantly, but even if the worst of the worst happens….we will live through it. Sometimes it feels like disappointment colors everything. Our mood, our direction, our feelings our trajectory etc. Disappointment lives up to its name, it IS disappointing, but that doesn’t mean it has to define us. Acknowledging our disappointment names it, but it also reminds us we have power over it. The storm will eventually pass. The pain will eventually subside. The tears will someday cease. There is one who steals, and one who heals. Be found waiting for the One who makes all things new.

We can go to Jesus with it. One of the greatest challenges we face with disappointment is that we often let it take us from our relationship with Jesus, instead of towards him. I don’t think that was ever God’s intention. It can be very tempting to look at things that happen, and want to define God/Jesus by what we have seen or experienced. When we do that, we are exalting something (our disappointment), over someone (our loving Father) and we allow circumstance, instead of truth, to master us. Every disappointment has the opportunity to take us towards Jesus or away from him, the outcome is our choice.

As you pray and process through disappointment this week, my prayer is this: whatever disappointment you face it will take you to the arms of Jesus, not from him. Working through it with Him, will lead to abundant life!

So much love,

Joy